Anti-social networking

Well, I deactivated my Facebook page. It was kinda cute playing "look how fat they got" with photos of people from 8th grade for a few days, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Facebook's format encourages (almost demands) the most base, trivial idiocy imaginable. You'd open the "wall", whatever that is, and be greeted by crucial updates about the lives of your so-called friends like, "Becky Tinkertoes is washing dishes" or "Wallace Chumpchange is wondering what kind of socks to buy". I was sorely tempted to write something along the lines of:

Stephen Ashley Holt is contemplating the meaninglessness of a Godless universe that includes death, famine, disease and the copyright stranglehold of the Walt Disney Corporation while listening to Wagner and slowly and methodically stabbing himself in the forearm with a pencil.

But Facebook won't let you post a statement anywhere near that long. Its format inspires only short, clipped, W. Bush-style exclamations - "Kenny likes milkshakes" or "Theda go night-night now". Frankly, it brought out the worst in me. My contributions to the Facebook arts were rather mean-spirited and I apologize to those with wounds that won't heal.

Come on, people. We're living in the information age. We could be expressing grand new visions for life in the new millenium, sharing our deepest, innermost longings and perceptions, or constructing manifestos around great scientific and technological breakthroughs. People, we can allow caricature portraits of figures from 1977 to span the globe at the speed of light!! But instead you're telling the world that you just watched Seinfeld and ate a taco.

This is not the information superhighway that Al Gore had in mind.


Brian said...

Can i link and/or quote your facebook blog to/on my web design blog?

Will Knott said...

yeah, i know how you feel. i started by nuking myspace, which literally drove me to insanity. i'm holding down the vomit that is facebook because of all of my digital friends. and it's easy to organize events. god, i hate it. with all of my soul. wait, there is no "soul". that's right.

btw, i just ate a taco and took a shit.